12 Hours
by Gilded Words
Summary: Jo Wilson was a doctor, she knew death, she had imagined dying before, she'd just never imagine it would end up being like this.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey Guys! So this is my first foray into fanfiction. But I thought of this story and I knew I had to write it, so here you go! This story takes place after the season 12 midseason finale- Alex and Jo are engaged, Jackson and April are together but they don't much of an appearance in the story, and Callie and Arizona are also back together, but otherwise everything else is the way it on the show. Anyways this story takes place a couple months after the events in 12x08 and Jo, Stephanie, Ben, and the rest of their resident class are taking their surgical boards, until in classic Grey's fashion everything goes downhill.**_

* * *

The ambulance doors opened to a mass of doctors. A resident eagerly reached out for the report in the hands of the paramedic, while steadying the gurney being pushed out of the rig.

"32 year old female. GSW to the left upper quadrant. Unresponsive at the scene - we had a pulse in route. Hypotensive. BP 108/40"

The attending looked up from the report and at the paramedic as the rolled the gurney into the ER.

"Is she the…?" she asked.

"Yeah…" the paramedic answered quietly. The attending shook her head and cleared her throat. She turned to her resident

"Okay let's get her intubated and book an OR" the resident nodded and reached for the phone. The attending turned back to the paramedic.

"What's the patient's name?"

"Josephine Wilson"

* * *

12 hours before

Alex Karev was not having a good day. He had just gotten out of surgery with a second year resident, who couldn't tell the difference between a clamp and a retractor. It's not like he had much of a choice, all the fifth years were in San Francisco taking their boards and all the other attendings had taken any other resident with half a brain.

"Dr. Karev, I finished the post- op evaluation on Brenden Miller and I was wondering if I could scrub in on your umbilical hernia repair." Alex took a deep breath and turned to his dim-witted resident.

"Sure you can scrub in…" the younger doctors eyes lit up "…after you teach the rest of the peds floor to do their own pre and post ops" Alex snapped and rolled his eyes as the second year tried to apologize before rushing away. Alex now thoroughly annoyed turned around only to see Callie walking towards him, her eyes widened as he noticed it was him and she rushed towards his direction. He tried to walk in the other direction, he was way too annoyed to deal with anyone at the moment.

Alex knew his bitterness wasn't completely because of his day at work. He missed Jo. He'd seen her off at the bay yesterday and then for the first time in nearly five years he came home to an empty house. She called him after she got to San Francisco and then had texted him just before she went in for her exam. He'd never realized how much of his life just didn't work without Jo.

"Karev!" Alex stopped, he had no choice, scowling he turned around.

"What do you want now, Torres"

"I was wondering if you heard back from Wilson"

"No, just like the last time you asked me twenty minutes ago, and the time before that and twice before that." He quipped. "And besides, why are you asking me, she'd probably call you first anyway. Team Ortho or whatever it is you two calling yourselves now and all" he added.

"You know every day I wonder what on Earth it is she sees in you, I can't spend more than twenty minutes with you and she agreed to spend the rest of her life with you. God help that girl" Callie snapped back. Alex rolled his eyes and turned around to walk away. Unfortunately for Alex, Callie followed.

"So how are wedding plans going?" she asked

"You just said you don't like having to spend time with me, why are you following me"

"I've got surgery in half an hour and nothing better to do"

"Gee thanks Torres."

"Whatever, so wedding plans? Did you guys pick a theme -" she asked eagerly.

"Do either of us look like people who have a wedding theme or plans for that matter? Knowing Jo, she'll probably just want to go to city hall, grab takeout, and call it a day." Alex, willing the conversation to end, glanced down at his watch "As riveting as this conversation is Torres, I have an umbilical hernia repair in ten minutes, so you'll have to excuse me" He said turning away from Callie.

Callie rolled her eyes as she watched him turn towards the elevator. She saw Bailey and remembered why she'd come down anyway.

"Chief! Wait up" Callie called running towards her.

"Torres this better be important I've got way too much work, the hospital is understaffed with the residents gone, and I had prospective fellows come in today to see the hospital- and they're all horrible, I have to pick up Tucker from school because Ben's not here and I haven't heard from Ben, don't know if he passed…" Bailey said on a tangent.

"I just needed a general surgeon, but you know what? It's okay I'll go see if Grey's free instead" Callie rushed wanting to get away from the angry chief of surgery. "Everyone's a grumpus" she muttered to herself as she walked up to the nurses' station. "Can you page Dr. Grey?"

"Right away Doctor." As Callie waited, the TV behind the nurses' station caught her eye.

"We are just now getting reports of a shooting in San Francisco at the Presdio Presidential Suites Hotel…" Callie stared at the screen, her eyes unwavering- the electric tablet in her hands fell in shock.

"For once a problem for someone else right?" the nurse at the station said following Callie's eyes. Callie didn't respond, she frantically ordered the nurse

"Page Dr. Bailey 911"

"Dr. Torres?" the nurse called out to Callie's retreating form, confused at her panicked tone

"…the Presdio Presidential Suites was hosting the American Surgical Boards this weekend. We have no reports on fatalities or the shooter at the time, we can only wait for more information"

* * *

 _ **Well that's chapter 1- hope you liked it!**_

 _ **-Gilded Words**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thanks for all the support I love that you guys are actually interested. I'm still sorting out some kinks so bare with me about any mistakes! Anyways here's chapter 2 hope you like it!**_

* * *

Miranda Bailey prided herself for being a level-headed women, able to think rationally when most panic. It was a trait that you needed in order to be an exceptional surgeon and an even better chief. But all sense of rational thought disappeared when Callie told her about the incident. For the last twenty minutes, she had tried repeatedly to call Ben. Her heart sinking every time it went to voice mail, her brain assuming the worst. It wasn't until she'd nearly given up that her phone rang.

"Miranda." Bailey let out the breath she'd been holding in at the sound of her husband's voice.

"Benjamin Warren, you …you nearly…" her voice quivered, unable to speak.

"Miranda, I'm okay, I'm fine, we weren't at the hotel when it started" the voice at the other end reassured her.

It wasn't until she was finally able to breathe free that Dr. Bailey remembered she was more than just a wife in the situation. "What about everyone else? Is everyone else okay?" she inquired as the chief of surgery. But this time the voice at the other end didn't respond. Bailey asked again

"Ben Warren is everyone else okay?" she asked again her voice rising.

"Miranda, is Karev there?"

"Why, what happened, Ben, what happened?" Bailey could hear her husband let out a deep sigh"

"Nobody's seen or heard from Jo since the attack. They think she's still inside."

* * *

Bailey walked out of her office, her phone shaking in her hand. Callie who had been waiting outside, rushed over.

"What happened? Is everyone okay?"

"I need to see your wife."

* * *

Alex never had a certain way he liked to run his OR, but he'd always liked the stillness of a quiet OR. Outside of the operating room, the world keeps moving on, but inside, inside the OR, it was just him, his patient, and surgery. The OR was his escape. An umbilical hernia repair was no major groundbreaking procedure and yet Alex could not have been more thankful for it. For the next hour he was completely free from half-brained residents, nosey coworkers, and missing fiancés.

Unfortunately for Alex, his peace was only short-lived, when Arizona Robbins walked into his OR

"Alex…" she started

"What do you want Robbins? I'm a little busy here." He snapped without looking up from his patient.

"Alex I-I'm going to tag you out of surgery now" She told him, her voice shaking.

Alex finally looked up,

"Robbins, we've been over this, my patient, my peds floor, my OR." He rolled his eyes before looking back down at his patient.

"Dr. Karev, I'm going to have to ask you to step away from the patient" Bailey ordered coming up behind Arizona. Her voice was assertive but still low.

Alex was annoyed, this was his department, and he didn't need Arizona checking his work every 20 minutes. But he didn't have the energy nor desire to argue with Bailey right now, so he handed over his patient to Arizona before leaving to scrub out. Bailey followed him out of the OR, her face emotionless.

"Dr. Karev, see me in my office after you scrub out"

Alex, now wholly confused, just nodded as the chief of surgery walked away. He looked up at Arizona who had picked up where he'd left off and tried to read her face. Arizona must have felt his gaze because she looked over for a second, her eyes low unable to meet his, before looking back at the open patient.

He'd finished scrubbing and walked through the automatic doors, towards Bailey's office. As he walked he could feel people staring. Was he getting fired? Alex tried to go through everything he'd done that month, anything that would warrant a firing, and unless snapping at a resident counted he couldn't think of anything.

When he got to Bailey's office, he knocked before unceremoniously walking in.

"Bailey, you honestly can't be firing me for yelling at a resident. You used to yell at us all-"

"Alex-" she cut him off. Alex's eyes widened with confusion, Bailey never called him by his first name unless things were about to go horribly wrong.

"Maybe you should sit down" she continued gesturing to the chair. Alex shook his head.

Bailey took a deep breath before starting again, "There was an incident. At the Presdio Presidential Suites Hotel. Where the-"

"Boards were happening, yeah I know. What the hell happened?" Alex interjected, his voice rising with fear."

"Someone opened fire in the hotel" she told him bluntly her voice and face void of emotion but her eyes told a different story.

Alex looked at up at Bailey, the women that had been more of a mother to him than his own mother, unable to comprehend what she was saying. Dread consumed him as he asked his next question.

"Jo. Is she okay?" he demanded, his voice uncharacteristically low not sure if he could handle what was going to come out of Bailey's mouth next.

Bailey tried to form words, she opened her mouth and nothing came out.

"DR. BAILEY, WHERE THE HELL IS JO?" his voice thick with fear and anger

"I don't know, nobody's heard or seen her since this morning. I'm sorry I don't know" she answered her own normally firm voice dripping with uncertainty.

Alex's brain was spinning, his knees gave out before collapsing on the chair that he was told to sit down on just five minutes ago. His thoughts racing a mile a minute, but they all came down to one question

 _Where was Jo?_

* * *

 _ **And that's chapter 2! I hope you liked it! So where is Jo?** _


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hi guys! Thanks for all the love!- So I had a lots of time on my hands this weekend and was able to finish chapter 3. Again pardon any mistakes and thanks for reading!**_

* * *

Jo Wilson was annoyed. When the alarms had originally gone off she'd assumed it was a regularly scheduled drill and would be over in a couple of minutes. But now nearly an hour later, Jo was at wits end. And the guy in her room was not making it any easier.

He'd knocked on her door when the alarms when off, asking if he could ride out the drill in her room because his room was five floors up and the elevators weren't working. Jo wasn't completely heartless and didn't want to make the guy walk five fleets of stairs, so she opened the door and let him in. But she'd almost instantly begun to regret her decision.

Apparently his name was Josh, he was a trauma surgeon, 36 years old, originally from Chicago, but moved to Dallas for his residency at Baylor Medical Center. He owned a dog named Harper who was spending the weekend at a dog sitter's. Oh and he liked to talk when he was nervous.

"Hey-y" Jo rolled her eyes, here he goes again. "I-I was wondering when this whole thing blows over, if you wanted to m-maybe get a drink maybe. W-with me?"

Jo looked up at him, her eyebrows raised. She put up her left hand, and finally spoke to him,

"Engaged"

"Oh" Josh blushed, visibly embarrassed. Jo tried to feel bad but honestly she was just glad he'd decided to finally shut up.

* * *

Alex stared at the white walls of Bailey's office. His face was completely emotionless. He didn't know how to react. Was he supposed to be angry? Or cry? Or be worried? Because right now all he felt was useless. Alex Karev was not a man who liked to feel useless, it's why he basically raised his two siblings when both of his parents couldn't, and why he became a doctor- to help people who couldn't help themselves. But right now all Alex felt was uselessness. He couldn't go to San Francisco and get Jo back himself or turn back time back to when Jo was still home and tell her to avoid guys with guns. There was nothing Alex could do to help Jo.

And it was killing him.

* * *

Isaac Cross was on Dr. Robbins' service today, so when he was paged into an OR with a 10 year old boy on the table instead of a very pregnant woman, he was understandably confused.

"Umm Dr. Robbins?" Cross asked not sure what to do.

"Cross. Oh good. Okay I need you to go to room 524 and prep the girl for a laparotomy. And then push the rest of Dr. Karev's non-emergent surgeries. And tell the nurses to forward all peds pages to me. Can you do that for me Cross?" Arizona ordered, not even looking up from the patient.

"Wait. Why are we taking Dr. Karev's patients?" Cross asked still not comprehending.

"Dr Cross, I asked you a yes or no question. Can you or can you not do what your superior is asking you to do" Arizona demanded, her voice more authoritative than even she'd ever heard it herself.

"I umm I'm sorry Dr Robbins. Yeah okay I'll go do that" he stumbled, startled by Dr Robbins' tone, before rushing out of the OR and up to the Peds floor.

* * *

"520, 521, 522, 523, _524_ " Cross counted, trying to find the room. He knocked before walking in, pulling up her chart as he walked in.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Cross, I'm going t-"

He looked up and realized instead of the 7 year old girl he'd expected to find, the room was completely empty.

He was in the right room, but he's patient was missing. Confused he stopped a nurse who had passed by.

"Where is the patient from 524?"

"OR 4, Dr Karev took her up 20 minutes ago" the nurse replied before walking away

Cross was confused, "But, Dr Karev isn't taking any patients right now." he called out to her retreating form.

* * *

Arizona Robbins stormed into OR 4 and yelled,

"ALEX!"

Alex looked up from his patient,

"Oh hey Dr Robbins" he answered calmly

"Alex! You're not even supposed to be working right now, let preforming emergency exploratory surgery" Arizona reprimanded.

"I'm fine Robbins" Alex reassured, looking back down at the open patient. "I'm serious. You don't need to be here, I'm fine"

Arizona ignored him and went to go scrub.

After scrubbing, Arizona came back,

"Alex hand over the patient" she ordered softly.

Alex took a deep breath,

"I can't. I can't just hand over this patient, because outside this OR I can't do anything. I can't help Jo, I don't even know what's wrong with her. Outside of this OR I'm completely useless. But inside this OR, I can do something, inside this OR I'm not useless. I can't do anything to help Jo, but I can save this kid. This I can do. So _please_ let me do this" he pleaded, his voice laced with desperation and anger.

Arizona sighed her eyes watering with sympathy. She blinked back the tears.

"Okay. But you need an assist." she bargained stepping over to the open patient.

* * *

It had been two hours since the alarms had originally gone off, and Jo was starting to get antsy. Josh, meanwhile, had completely lost it. He was pacing the perimeter of the room, mumbling about zombies. Jo tried to reach into the pocket of her purse to find her phone only to find that it wasn't there. She must have left it in Steph's room last night. She was about to ask Josh for his phone she heard a low pitched boom.

"Did you hear that?" she asked Josh trying to figure out what she'd just heard.

"Hear what?"

Jo shook her head, trying to figure out what it was.

"This is ridiculous!" Josh erupted walking over to the door, "I'm leaving, I can't stay here anymore" he angrily opened the door

Jo's eyes widened as the gears in her head finally clicked.

"No Josh! Stop!" She yelled, but it was too late. She heard the same low pitched boom from before.

Josh's body crumpled to the floor. Blood pooling out of a wound on the side of his head.

A wound left by a bullet.

* * *

 ** _That's chapter 3! Let me know what you thought. Also I'm the only person who is in no way excited for 12x09? I'm tired of Meredith always almost dying. DO SOMETHING ELSE GREY'S ANATOMY!_ **


	4. Chapter 4

_**I'm so glad you guys are actually liking this story! Also I'm glad so many of you agree with me about the way the show is going. Here's chapter 4- Meredith finally makes an appearance!**_

* * *

Meredith Grey had just gotten out of a seven hour surgery. A seven hour surgery that had all surmounted to nothing because the patient had stroked out anyway. So to say she was not in a good mood would have been an understatement.

"Meredith!" a rushed voice called out behind her. Meredith let out a sharp sigh before turning around.

"Hello Dr. Robbins," she sarcastically answered the blonde surgeon.

Arizona blinked choosing not to acknowledge Meredith's obvious tone of annoyance.

"I need you to talk to Alex. He's not listening to me. And he's doing that thing where he pretends he's fine when he's not. He's taking his third patient this morning up for surgery. And I need you to help him because I can't get him to listen or talk, but you've known him longer and you two have that person thing and you need to help him" she rushed, the concern seeping through her voice.

"Arizona, Alex is a doctor he's paid to treat patients" Meredith rolled her eyes, unamused, before continuing "Now if you're done, I have my own patients to treat"

Arizona's eyes widened with realization,

"Oh god, you don't know."

* * *

"Alex!" Meredith's voice echoed through the peds floor. Alex stopped pushing the patient bed and turned around to see an angry looking Meredith and a slightly frightened Arizona behind her.

"Alex, hand over the patient" Meredith ordered, her voice unwavering.

"Mere, I'm fine. I swear. You don't need to be here" he attempted to reassure her before turning around and continuing to push the bed towards the elevator, hoping she wouldn't follow.

 _No such luck._

"I'm not asking you as a friend anymore Alex, I'm telling you as a hospital board member. Dr. Karev. Hand over the patient to Dr. Robbins."

Alex gritted his teeth in frustration, wanting to protest, but lacking the energy to do so, he handed the patient over. He glared at Meredith before turning to walking away.

Meredith followed, "Alex! Wait!"

Alex turned around visibly angry, "Are you telling me as a friend. Or ordering me as a board member Dr. Grey?" He retorted before glancing at his phone..

"Alex…" Meredith starts her voice softer now.

"Save it Mere, and I really don't need your help. I'm fine." He tell her before looking down at his still quiet phone again.

"Is that why you keep glancing down at you phone, Alex? Because you're fine?" she asked as she timidly stepped towards him "Alex, you're allowed to break, you don't need to always hold it together. You're allowed to let people help you." Meredith tells him as she closes the gap between them with a hug. Alex objected at first but eventually fell into it, his resolve breaking.

"Come on" she tells him leading him away.

* * *

Jo was terrified. And not the "I just botched my first solo surgery." terrified or the "I'm about to take my boards." terrified or the "Oh my god Alex, what are you doing?!" terrified. Right now Jo was terrified in the purest sense of the word.

After Josh had died, Jo was led out of her room, her hands risen. And a gun pointed at her head with the promise to shoot if she didn't do what she was told. He led her to a conference room where others were being held.

She'd been there for nearly two hours now. She saw them lead in others, people who looked just as terrified as her. She squeezed her eyes shut at the sound of gunshots, counting them in her head, _thirty-two._ Thirty-two gunshots, thirty-two people dead. _Thirty-three_ counting Josh. There were probably more, more shots she hadn't heard, more people dead. There were only eighty-seven people in the conference room. And even though she figured a lot of people may have left in the morning like Stephanie and Ben and everyone else from Grey Sloan, or had gotten out when the shooting began. She wasn't naive, she knew if they weren't here, there was a good chance that they were probably dead.

She caught some details from the whispers around her. They'd begun shooting at 7. They were clearing out people a floor at a time, which was probably why it took them so long to get to her. They were killing whoever they wanted, taking only a few hostage. No one knew why they had taken them hostage instead of just killing them. But they weren't complaining.

She didn't get much else, The people who'd been whispering found themselves with a bullet in their head. No one whispered after that.

* * *

Meredith lead Alex down to the tunnels, where they'd spent so much of their residency together, where she knew no one else would come bother them.

For a couple of minutes they just sat in silence on the abandoned hospital bed. Alex staring down at his phone wishing it to light up and Meredith staring at Alex staring at his phone.

Alex looked up at Meredith before breaking out in humorless laughter. Tears rolling down his eyes, tears, Meredith figured weren't from laughing too hard.

"I look pathetic, I'm waiting for a phone call that's never gonna come. I should've expected this, I was happy for way too long, and I got too comfortable. And now the universe is going to take that away from me, like it always does." He laughed, his eyes red with tears.

Meredith didn't respond, allowing him let out all the emotion he'd been holding in all morning.

"I keep scrolling through news stories, and all anyone talks about is numbers, estimated casualties, fatalities, rising death tolls. I don't know if Jo's just another number in their statistic. I have no idea what's going on. I can't help her. I can't do anything" Alex kept going, no longer laughing, tears still streaming down his face.

Meredith spoke up this time, "Well, did you try seeing if you could go down there? I'm sure Bailey would let you go. " she asked trying to find a way to help him.

Alex wiped off his face with the back of his hand, "I tried, the only flight leaving from Seattle to San Francisco doesn't leave for another five hours."

"And driv-" Meredith started to ask

"And driving would take thirteen hours to get there." Alex finished, sounding defeated.

"Okay so take the plane." Meredith told him rubbing her hand over his back trying to console him.

"And do what for the next five hours?" He asked, his voice laced with desperation and frustration.

" _Hope_ "

Alex's eyebrows furrowed at the very unMeredith answer.

"Also I've got a liver transplant, scrub in with me."

* * *

 ** _And that's chapter 4!- I'm actually not sure how I feel about this chapter- It's a lot of just exposition to move the plot along but I'm excited for the coming chapters._**

 ** _Also this is the last you see from Alex in the near future. Next couple chapters focus on Jo and the action._**

 _ **Also sidebar, for those of you who write, is it hard to write for Meredith? Because the show is writing her to be just plain mean and I've personally been feeling like if I write her to be even remotely nice that I'm writing her out of character**._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hi Guys- Happy Valentine's Day! A little off schedule but here you go- chapter 5! As usual sorry for any mistakes. And I hope you like it!**_

* * *

Jo had experienced some pretty traumatic things in her life. But the last four hours may have been the worst. She kept her eyes squeezed shut, afraid to breathe, afraid to move. The smell of blood stuck in her nostrils, the cries of victims, long dead, still rang in her ears. By the time they were done rounding up hostages, there were 215 people in the conference room, just a quarter of the people that had come to San Francisco two days ago, now four hours later, there were only 187. Jo was a doctor, she was no stranger to death, but this wasn't death, but this wasn't like anything she'd ever seen. This was killing for fun. This was murder.

She bit down on her bottom lip from time to time, party to distract from everything around her and partly just to remind herself that she was alive.

She wondered if the fear of death was worse than actually dying. That if one of the shooters sent a bullet through her brain, she'd be better off than she was now. The fear had taken over her entire being- and she hated it. Jo had been through a lot, more than most, she thought she was immune to fear. But sitting here watching the time tick away, and watching the people around her just die, she wanted nothing more than for the fear to just go away.

Jo wasn't idealistic or naive. She didn't see rainbows and butterflies and happily ever afters. She was truth, she saw probability, she saw the dark and ugly reality, Jo knew what was going to happen, the chances of her making it out of here alive were waning.

She took a steadying breath, the inevitability of her death slowly setting in. She ran her fingers along the sides of her sweatpants, making a sarcastic mental note about wishing she'd picked something nicer to die in, when she felt something snag on a loose thread of her sweats. She looked down, and for the first time noticed the ring. Right there on the fourth finger of her left hand. She stared at it, suddenly remembering her life prior to today. _Remembering Alex_.

The corner of her eyes started to sting again. She wondered if he knew. He had to have, nothing travels faster than bad news. She glanced at the ring again, remembering everything the ring stood for, everything it meant for her, for them. The ring symbolized their future. A life together. A life she probably would no longer have.

* * *

Her mind flashed back to two days ago, before she'd left for San Francisco, at the ambulance bay.

* * *

 _"Come on Jo! We're going to be late." Stephanie yelled to Jo._

 _Jo ignored her, her eyes still searching._

 _"Jo! I swear to God if we're late because of you…" Stephanie yelled again._

 _Jo tuned out her voice, she knew Alex didn't have any surgeries today. So where was he? Suddenly she felt familiar arms wrap around her waist. She rolled her eyes before turning around, "Alex! Where were you! I.."_

 _He cut her off with a kiss, Jo, slightly annoyed, fell into the kiss as well._

 _"Sorry" he mumbled after she broke the kiss. Remembering why he was late in the first place he pulled out a bag. "For you." he offered_

 _Jo scrunched her eyebrows and looked at him questioningly, before opening the bag to look inside. Inside, a bottle of calamine, a bunch of magazines, half a dozen chocolate bars, a couple of granola bars and her flash cards. Jo looked up at Alex, a smile growing on her face._

 _" I figured you could use all the help you could get and then I saw that you left your flashcards at the loft so I…"_

 _This time Jo cut him off, pulling him into another kiss. "I love you"_

 _"Calm down Princess. It's just chocolate and a bottle of lotion"_

 _"Shut up" she playfully snaps back at him before letting him lead her to the shuttle. She turns around and gives him one last peck before looking for her seat next to Stephanie._

 _"Hey Jo!" Alex calls._

 _Jo turns around again._

 _"Love you too"_

* * *

She ran her fingers over the ring, allowing it to provide some comfort. If that was the last memory of Alex she would have, she figured it would be okay. To be so unbelievably in love and to feel so unconditionally loved. She figured there were worse ways to go.

She watched as the minimal lighting in the room reflected off of the center diamond, and found herself smiling for the first time that day.

Jo was brought back to reality when she heard a loud noise. It seemed she wasn't the only one because everyone looked up as well. One of the guys dragged in a man with a scalpel driven into his abdomen.

"What the hell is this?" the guy, who Jo figured was the leader of the group, asked in the thick French accent they all had.

"I found him upstairs, he was bleeding. I think when he went upstairs to clear the room and the boy inside got a little scalpel happy. He's not waking up but there's a pulse-he needs help now or he's going to die." The other man answered, his accent not as strong, but still there.

The older man ran his fingers through his thinning blond hair, pinching the bridge of his nose.

He turned back to the other man, "Will he survive until tomorrow?"

"No!" he shouted, exasperation in his voice, " He will not survive not to see tomorrow he won't even survive to see the next hour."

And then before Jo's brain could realize what she was doing, she was standing up.

"I'll do it, I'm a doctor I'll do it"

* * *

 _ **And that's it for chapter 5! I originally wrote this as a longer chapter but decided to split it into two chapters- so look out for chapter 6, it'll be out pretty soon, because it's basically done. This chapter was a lot of fun, getting to write a happy Jolex.**_

 ** _Obviously this story is now slight AU (?) It's not canon with 12x09, which sidebar I was actually pleasantly surprised by, but it should be said my expectations were pretty low. The blanket scene killed me! [insert crying emoji here]._**


	6. Chapter 6

_**I know I said I'd have this posted quickly...but I'm not kidding when I say I wrote and rewrote this chapter nearly 7 times. And I'm not gonna lie I'm still not sure how I feel about it. But I hope you guys like it. And as usual sorry for any mistakes. I hope you like it!**_

* * *

 _"They aren't doing anything!"_

Startled by the outburst, Ben Warren looked up from where he was sitting to see a pacing Stephanie Edwards, fear and worry etched onto the lines on her face.

"They've been here for hours, and they still aren't doing anything" anger dripping from her voice.

"The cops can't just storm into the hotel, they're planning. You know that." Ben tried to reassure both Stephanie and himself.

Stephanie collapsed next to Ben. "She's my friend- my best friend. We argued and fought, but she's my best friend. And she's going to die. She's my best friend and she's going to die."

"You can't think like that."

"I should've told her to come with us. Or-or stayed with her. I could've-"

Ben shook his head to cut her off, "There isn't anything you could've done. She's too stubborn, she wouldn't have listened anyway. And besides, she's not going to die. She'll be back to stealing surgeries from us next week and laughing at you for being so worried. Jo is going to okay."

The younger doctor looked back up at the assembled FBI. "They aren't doing anything…"

* * *

A confidence shone in Jo's eyes, a confidence she had no idea existed. Her stare unwavering, she looked up at the older man, her face void of all emotion.

The leader smirked, looking her up and down, "Are you offering your services... _doctor_?" The other men laughed at his insinuation.

"Your friend is going to die if he doesn't get proper medical help and I doubt you want to call an ambulance for the hospital, so you can sit here and make jokes or you can make sure he gets to live" There was no fear in Jo's voice, she was no longer afraid of dying. She was a doctor first. And _this_ , saving people's lives, this was what she had always wanted to do.

He glared at her, his green eyes darkening. He reached for his gun before walking up to her. Jo squeezed her eyes shut, as he ran the gun down her neck.

"Such a _pretty_ little thing, shame to see it go to waste" he whispered into her ear. Jo stepped back and out of his grasp.

She wasn't going to turn back now, "Go ahead shoot me but what about your friend? He's already working on borrowed time."

"Foolish girl… You're in a room full of doctors, ones with less of a mouth on them. I could just kill you and pick someone else, maybe not one that's as fun to look at but a doctor just as much"

Jo, undeterred, kept going. She was done watching these people just kill."Go ahead, pick someone else, but if you want him to survive then you need me, I'm his best chance."

The man raised his eyebrows."Is that so Doctor? Are you? His _best_ chance?"

Jo winced internally at his tone, her courage starting to wane, but she didn't let it show on her face. "My credentials speak for myself, cum laude at Princeton, perfect score on my MCAT exam, top of my class at Harvard Med, I finished my residency at one of the most elite surgical programs in the country, I am his best chance"

The blond man narrowed his eyes, anger etched into the creases on his forehead. He narrowed his eyes, glaring at her.

"All right, Doctor you can treat him but if he dies, you'll be dying with him."

The man started to walk away

Jo looked behind her at the confused and scared people still seated on the floor, the other hostages.

These were people, who just like her had woken up this morning, thinking today was just another day and now just some hours later, they were sitting in a conference room thinking that today could very well be the last day they would be alive. These people probably had families, kids waiting for their parent to come home. A parent who had just sent their child to San Fransico thinking they would come home a surgeon, and instead would get her son or daughter back with a bullet in their body. She couldn't let that happen, these people had lives, people who loved them, people who needed them. Who did she have? _Alex?_ Alex would move on, he would be okay, he had people. People didn't need her. She could die today it would be okay. She was okay with dying, but why should these people? And for the second time that day, Jo's mouth opened before she could process what she was saying.

"I have a condition"

The leader turned back around his eyes wide with amusement. "You do realize you're the one with a gun pointed to her head? You don't get to have conditions"

"You need to let everyone else go. If you want to make sure he lives, you'll let everyone else go" Jo bargained, her voice hollow but stern.

The man blinked once. Twice. Before breaking out laughing.

"You give yourself too much credit" he mocked,

"His best chance. You wanna give him his best chance to survive? You want me."

He tilted his head as if he was considering her plan. He then stared at her before turning to one of his other men.

And for a second Jo had hope. Maybe there was a teaspoon of good in this man. Maybe he bought her argument...

"Shoot her."

 _Or Not._

One of the men readied his gun, pointing it squarely at her chest.

Jo shut her eyes, steadied her breathing, this was it, she readied herself and waited for the darkness.

* * *

 _ **Stupid, stupid Jo...ordering the angry guy with the gun around-probably not a smart idea.**_

 _ **Alright, well that's chapter 6. I hope you liked it...a little on the shorter side, but I think cheaper 7 will be longer.**_

 _ **I'm very cautiously optimistic about the next episode. I'm not sure what I want Jo to say. My inner shipper heart wants her to say yes but this is Shondaland and happy means no story-which I don't want.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**I know this is kind of very late! Sorry! Anyways here's chapter 7- better late than never right?**_

* * *

"Wait!"

Jo's eyes shot open, the gun pointed at her slowly lowered.

The younger guy, who had brought down the stabbed patient, carefully lowered the paling man slumped over his arms, before stepping in between Jo and gun.

"What do you think you're doing Charles?" the leader asked, exasperation and anger seeping into his question.

"She says she is his best chance, we needs his best chance" he, _Charles_ as Jo had learned begged.

"Don't be ridiculous Charles. We are not entertaining her conditions."

" _Brother_ please!"

Jo eyebrows scrunched, _brothers_?

Charles continued, "You've made your point, you'll get your glory, do as she says. _Please!"_ desperation ringing in his voice.

The older man rubbed his eyes, his brother's words wearing him down.

" _Please_. This isn't what Juliana would have wanted."

Jo watched as the older man's steel blue eyes softened ever so slightly.

"Fine. Let them go." he digressed, glaring at Jo, before turning to one of the men and telling him something in hushed French.

Charles nodded to another man at the end of the room, who started to gather the confused hostages toward the door. He walked back over to the unconscious man before turning to her

"You. Come on."

Jo heard a strange fear in his voice, she saw the desperation in his eyes. This guy, was definitely more than just a comrade.

She followed him, her eyes low, staring at her shoes. He led her into an empty conference room, and laid the dying man into the table. Jo watched him with confusion. How could someone be so caring, and yet be a part of something so ruthless?

"Hey." the guy called out, bringing Jo out of her thoughts.

Jo looked up to meet his eyes, "Yeah?"

"You said a lot big things out there, for your sake I hope you don't disappoint"

For Jo, the revelation hit- it was going to be this patient's life or her's. She was literally operating for life. This patient's wounds weren't just the patient's wounds, they were now her's.

 _No pressure_. Jo walked up to guy at the table. A moment of uncertainty passed through before the clarity hit and Jo went into full doctor mode.

She assessed the wound before calling out, "I'm going to need trauma dressings, gauze, sterile sponges-"

"We're in a hotel not a hospital. Where the hell are we going to get that stuff?" Charles cut her off.

Jo was no trauma surgeon. Sure she was trauma certified, but residency doesn't exactly teach you how to operate with nothing. She'd heard once that Dr Grey and Dr Yang had done a pericardiocentesis with a straw. She knew Ben had once used a clipboard blade to open someone's chest wall. But to Macgyver an entire surgery, or even just enough to stabilize him, would be impossible. She started pacing and mumbling to herself, trying to think of something, _anything_.

"You don't look _the best_ right now," frustration lined Charles' voice.

Jo snapped back, "I'm thinking! Don't have many options here anyway."

Charles at Jo's tone "A hotel filled with doctors, and you're the one I get stuck with"

Jo ignored his insult, but it resonated with her- _A hotel filled with doctors…_ type A, obsessive, over prepared doctors. And she knew exactly who she was looking for.

* * *

When the mass of confused and scared hostages walked out of the building, hysteria ensued. People looked for other they knew, or mourned their peers left inside, the police tried to question people, reporters sprang into action. The scene was chaotic to say the least.

Stephanie was looking for Jo as she watched the people walk out of the building, trying to remember what her best friend had worn that morning. Ben hadn't gotten back yet, he had gotten up to pick up Bailey's call. Stephanie was about to stand up when she hear someone call out.

"I'm looking for someone from Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital"

She whipped around towards the voice towards a tall, sandy haired man in an FBI jacket.

Stephanie shot her hand up, "Me! Grey Sloan- I work at Grey Sloan."

The FBI agent turned towards her, flashing her his badge, "Agent Daniels. And you're from Grey Sloan Memorial? In Seattle?"

Stephanie nodded, "Yes," she answered cautiously. "Why? Is Jo okay?"

"We're not sure mam, I was wondering if you could come with me."

Stephanie followed the agent, fear setting into her abdomen. She and Jo never had an easy relationship, they fought…a lot. But Jo was Stephanie's only constant friendship for the last five years. Heather had died, Shane left for Switzerland, Leah got fired. Jo and Stephanie weren't always on best terms. But after everything, Jo was her best friend, and she could very well be dead right now.

The agent led Stephanie behind the yellow tape, where the FBI was gathered.

"...I don't remember anything else about her! We were waiting in the same hall before our exam, we weren't even really talking, I asked what hospital she was from, and she said Grey Sloan, and before I could ask her name I was called inside. I just know she's from Grey Sloan and what she looks like. I recognized her when we were inside-"

"Sir" Daniels cut off the man, causing the man to turn around to look towards him.

"Can you describe what she looked like? So we can ID her?"

The man closed his eyes hard, as if trying to recollect a memory,

"She had shortish brown hair, and she was tiny, and umm-"

Stephanie frowned, that sounded like Jo but she reached for her phone, wanting to be certain. She pulled up a selfie of her and Jo from last night.

She turned the phone towards the man, zooming in on Jo's face.

"Is that her?"

The man nodded vigorously, "That's it, that's her. She's the one. She's still inside- you have to help her."

"Wait, Jo's still inside?"

* * *

"Room 702. Here we go" Jo reached for the handle and groaned when it didn't budge. "It's locked."

Charles fiddled with pockets before pulling out a white piece of plastic, "Here, this should work."

Jo's raised her eyebrows, "A master key? Where'd you get that… You know what don't answer that. I don't need more of a reason to hate you"

"Watch the mouth and hurry up"

Jo rolled her eyes to herself before reaching for the card in his hand. She watched the light turn green, indicating that the she could open the door. Twisting the door handle open, she stepped inside. A burst of cold air hit her immediately, the air condition must have been running in the morning and no one was left to turn it off. Jo cautiously walked around the room while Charles stood at the door, watching her.

Jo had only known Josh for about three hours, he was the annoying Chicago trauma surgeon- who would not shut up. She ignored most of what he said, but know she wished she could apologize- because Josh was about to save her life.

She found his bag under the bed, and struggled to pull it out. Finally able to get it out, she opened the bag, to find a perfectly organized bag. Jo shuffled through clothes, and textbooks- unable to find what she was looking for.

Jo gritted her teeth. If Josh was the kind of person she thought he was it had to be in the bag somewhere.

Frustrated, Jo was about to walk away when she noticed the top of the bag was bulging out. She quickly unzipped the front pocket to reveal another bag inside.

She took it out of the bigger bag. Holding her breathe as she undid the Velcro to find a fully stocked trauma kit. It had gauze, suture kits, scalpel blades. Jo let out a sigh of relief but a sudden wave of guilt set it.

This was Josh's, who died because of these people. And now Jo was going to use his things to save one of their lives. For a second, Jo contemplated putting the kit back, walking away, telling Charles she couldn't do anything, letting him shoot her. Besides she had come to peace with the idea of dying anyway.

But then she wouldn't be a doctor.

Jo remembered her med school graduation, the day she became a doctor. Part of the ceremony was swearing the Hippocratic oath, at the time she was so excited, this was the moment she'd dreamed of, the moment that made all the horrible things the had gone through to get to that moment worth it.

But this moment was the first time she actually understood what the oath meant. She was a doctor first, her first responsibility was to the person on the table, regardless of who they were. She couldn't turn her back on a patient. And Josh wouldn't have either, he was a doctor first too, he was a doctor even after his death.

"I got it. Let's go."

* * *

 ** _That's chapter 7! Longer than usual but because its been almost a month since the last chapter I guess it's okay. Anyway look at Jo still being snippy and sassy even when in the company of a crazy person._**

 ** _I promise chapter 8 will be out earlier than this update. We'll get to see Alex next chapter-so look forward to that..._**


	8. Chapter 8

_**I know, I know... I'm just going to stop making promises. I apparently suck at keeping them. In my defense this chapter was so hard to write because nothing seem to flow right. And then everything in 12x24 didn't make it any easier. Speaking of which...This fic is AU after 12x08 and Jo's name is still Jo and doesn't have a secret husband. Because while the show writers may be able to force this story in with established show history, I'm not going to try to force into my story. Anyways without further ado finally here's chapter 8.**_

* * *

In surgery there are only two options, two possibilities, two consequences. You either succeed or you fail. The patient either lives or dies. But today it wasn't just a positive outcome for the patient that Jo needed, it was a positive outcome for herself, does she get to live or die?

That's what Jo was thinking, at least, as she washed her hands, trying to disinfect as much as she could without the ability to scrub. She watched the water run down her hands, swirling down the drain. This was single-handily the strangest surgery she would ever do. And if not the gun pointed at her temple about twenty minutes ago, it would probably also be the coolest surgery.

Jo dryly chuckled at the thought. Could you put _performed emergency surgery on a potential murder in a hotel conference room with nothing more than a field trauma kit you stole from a dead person_ on your resume? _Probably not._

She walked back into the conference room, wearing flimsy, not at all surgically appropriate gloves, not that she had a choice of course.

She imagined what this would be like in an OR. She'd be on the opposite side of the table-assisting. She'd be suctioning, retracting, and maybe if she got lucky maybe she'd get to close. Even as a fifth year resident, she would rarely get to be lead surgeon on a trauma. And even then she was constantly supervised by an attending. But here it was all her- no one to consult with or talk to or double check her work.

She remembered her first solo surgery, a simple abdominal hernia repair. She also remembered freaking out before and after the surgery as well. But Dr Bailey's words resonated with her, she had to trust her instincts. She didn't need an attending to double check her work, she knew what she was doing.

And she made her first cut.

* * *

Callie had a pelvic repair, two hip replacements, and an open reduction scheduled for the day. Normally she would hand off something so textbook like that to Wilson, but since that option was so clearly of the the table. Today world renowned orthopedic surgeon, Calliope Torres was doing boring procedures and fixes. So when Arizona asked her if she was free for a couple hours, Callie was quick to agree.

But now finding out what she had volunteered herself for Callie was starting to wish she had decided otherwise.

"So Robbins brought you into this too?" Alex asked, annoyance and grief seemingly etched into his face. He had originally planned to just drive himself even though Meredith and Arizona had refused to let him do so. But since both of them had surgery, they didn't have much of a choice. Or at least he thought before he found himself in Callie Torres' car.

"No...I volunteered" Callie lied, pretending to be offended by his assumption.

"Yeah...sure" Alex quipped back rolling his eyes. "Well, I don't need the help" a certain petulance echoed through Alex's voice.

"It's a good thing then that I'm not here for you then"

"So you are here because Robbins asked you."

"Okay fine, Arizona asked me to, but Alex, I would've done it anyway. But not for you. I'd do it for Wilson."

Alex looked over at her, not understanding.

"Wilson may be your soon-to-be-wife but she's already my work wife. And what kind of work wife would I be if let her thick-headed idiot soon-to-be-real-life-husband die in crash because he was driving distracted?"

"That doesn't make any sense..."

"Whatever Karev, the point is Jo is going to be okay, because our wife is a badass...well my wife, she's not your wife yet"

"That still doesn't make any sense, and sounds strangely wrong"

"Shut up Alex."

* * *

Ben Warren had memorized Alex Karev's phone number at this point. That's how many times he'd tried to get the pediatric surgeon's phone.

Stephanie was trying to answer the FBI's answers. Her voice frantic and yet shaking. Ben had been given responsibility of calling Karev. But every time he called, it ended up going to voicemail. Secretly he felt relieved every time he heard the monotonous automated voice of the answering machine. If Karev had picked up, what was he supposed to say? He tried imagining being on the receiving end of that call, finding out that Miranda was more than likely dead.

Ben shook his head trying to get rid of the image in his head. He reached for the phone again.

"Don't bother." Ben looked up at Irine. He squinted his eyes in confusion, he'd barely ever spoken three words to the now committed cardio surgeon. _What was she talking about?_

Irine picked up on his confusion before explaining herself, "I heard you and Stephanie. About Jo? I tried calling Pierce, who found from Grey, Karev's on a flight. Here _."_

"What _?_ Does he know?"

"Besides that she was missing? No. I don't think so."

"So he has to find out about Jo's suicidal heroism in person."

 _Somehow that doesn't sound any better._

* * *

Once she opened the wound and got a look at the bleeding, it was actually a fairly easy fix. Or at least it would be, if Jo was in any medically sanitary location. Making anything more that superficial fixes would expose the patient to a greater risk of infection. But not doing anything would mean he would go into hypovolemic shock and then die anyway. Jo was facing a lose-lose situation. The frustration was beating down on her. This was a textbook case but besides that nothing about the situation was textbook.

But the thing that was annoying her most right now, _the silence._

Jo had studied orthopedic surgery under Dr Callie Torres, and anyone who had spent 20 seconds in an OR with Callie Torres knew how she liked to run her ORs. Loud. At first, the noise annoyed her...a lot. How was anyone supposed to focus on surgery with rock music blaring? But eventually she learned to ignore it, besides the badass bone breaking surgery was too good to let go off anyway. But right now she missed it, not the music exactly but the familiarity.

"You know, my own experience tells me the angry brooding man thing is usually a front" Jo tried, in the attempt to break the silence. Trying to engage the man in the corner, who only responded with a glare.

"And I mean you're not even good at it, it's so obvious that you're hiding something-so what is it? I would guess family I mean I saw your brother-yikes, or I know, your ex-wife hallucinated her dead fiancé and had weird ghost-sex with but it was actually because she had cancer but then she got better only to walk out on you again-"

Charles looked at her with bewildered confusion, "What? What does that even mean?"

Jo shrugged, "Prior experience with angry broody men"

"Shut up, stop asking questions, and go back to work" he snapped back.

"Oh come on, humor me for a while. You want your friend to live? Talk."

"Okay. Are you done yet? What's wrong? And is he going to be fine?"

"No, no, no-nothing medical, talk about your life-the interesting stuff, not the boring or bloody stuff though either"

"You want to talk about my personal life...over an open chest?"

"Well where I'm from, this is commonplace, so come on-this is a no judgem...or at least only a little judgment zone."

"Just get back to work, make sure he lives" Charles' voice wavered ever so slightly as he looked down at the man on the conference table. But not slight enough for Jo to miss it.

"There! There it is again. This guy isn't just a fellow _soldier_ or whatever is he?"

"Just...just go back to work..." His voice, softer than Jo had ever heard, as he pleaded.

Jo decided not to push, having obviously hit a chord. She decided to take the risk and deepen cuts, infection was something that could probably be treated. arresting on the table probably not as much. Besides, after moving in and out of consciousness for a while, he had completely passed out, his timeframe for survival was shrinking. Fast.

* * *

 _ **So that was chapter 8- So this chapter took a while to write, but I hope you guys like it. It feels like everyone's worried about Jo, except for maybe Jo...**_


	9. Chapter 9

**_Hi Strangers! I'm not dead! My Jolex muse was for a while...but it's back! So this is the first of a two chapter drop I'm doing today-so make sure you'be read this chapter first it puts the story into a lot of context. Anyways I hope you like it!_**

* * *

Charles watched the tiny brunette doctor. Her hands were steady, methodical. Almost their own entity, working at their own will. He imagined what she was thinking, he presumed it was somewhere along the lines of "I am going to die and how many way can I annoy the angry guy in the corner."

He kept his eyes on the doctor. Watched her every move. Watched her face as it switched between determined and horrified and back again. Watched as her steady hands contrasted her obviously racing brain.

He had to, it kept him from looking at the man on the conference table.

A man who had very much changed his life. Gave him perspective, made him realize what he wanted and not what his brother wanted. Made him want _live_ again.

Drowning in memories and thoughts, Charles found his mouth moving, "His name's Jack"

Her eyes shot up, "Excuse me?"

"You said you needed to talk about something, well his name, it's Jack"

"Oh okay, thanks I guess" she looked confused before getting back to work the same concentration still in her eyes.

But suddenly Charles could stop himself, conversation felt cathartic, words starting falling out of his mouth quicker than he could process.

"We met two years ago, he worked at my sister's cafe. And then things happened and my brother recruited him. Jack always hated it, but he said he owed my family and went along with it. I'd only ever seen him twice before he started working for my brother." Charles felt his voice hitch, a sense of regret echoed through his voice.

The doctor- _Jo-_ must have heard the shift in his voice too because she looked back up at him. Her eyes less angry and more pitiful , "You don't have to keep going. It's okay I can deal with the quiet. Really. Besides I'm almost done, easy fix I promise."

But Charles couldn't stop, two years of pushed away thoughts and regrets were pouring out. He couldn't push it back down. Memories flooded his senses. And the forced themselves out.

* * *

 _December 18, 2013_

" _Charlie!"_

 _He recognized the voice. Her voice's familiarity instantly warmed his insides, and he knew._

 _He turned around to face the source of the voice, "Jules! Look who finally decided to show her face in town again"_

" _Is that anyway to greet your favorite baby sister Charles?"_

" _Favorite is loose term Juliana" he teased laughing, before pulling her in for a hug, "I missed you"_

 _She hugged back but not without teasing back "Don't go mushy on me big brother, I already have one of those."_

 _Charles laughed in agreement before noticing the man behind his sister, "Who's that?"_

 _Juliana turned around, "Oh this is Jack, he's our new hire, he um drove me here"_

 _Charles understood and looked up appreciatively, putting his hand out, "Thanks man"_

" _No prob" Jack answered before reaching out to take it._

* * *

 _March 14, 2015_

" _Charles! Come here I need you to meet someone."_

 _Charles tore his eyes from his book, "Mmmhm?"_

 _He looked up to see his tired, worn out, brother. He was leading a man up to him._

" _This is-"_

" _Jack." Charles cut off his brother. His eyes firmly on the man next to his father. He had recognized his face immediately._

 _James looked at them confused, "You know each other?"_

 _Charles noticed Jack start to speak and rushed to cut him off, "Yeah! We uh met a couple years ago"_

" _Well then that's even better. Jack is joining our crew"_

* * *

 _September 21, 2015_

" _So you're seriously okay with what your brother wants?"_

 _Charles hesitated, unsure of what he truly wanted, "Well, ummm, yeah. He's my brother and the only parent I've ever had. He knows best."_

" _Okay? But what do you want?"_

 _Charles thought about it, his mind drawing completely blank, " I-I don't know". He looked at Jack's unsatisfied face him "So if you're so against this plan. Why are you helping? He's my brother-I owe him everything. But he's got nothing on you."_

" _And I owe your sister a lot more than everything. She gave me a house and a job and a way to stand on my own two feet-when no one else did. I would do anything for her and her family"_

 _Charles just nodded, a sad smile on his face._

" _So you ever do anything for yourself?" Jack asked. "Or is everything for brother dearest?"_

 _Charles laughed sarcastically, "Ha ha"_

" _Seriously when's the last time you did something for yourself?"_

" _Yesterday. I ordered an extra order of fries with my burger. Just for me." Charles refuted weakly._

" _That's what I thought"_

" _I could do things for myself if I wanted to-my brother just needs help right now."_

" _Well then, prove it."_

" _Fine" And he kissed him._

* * *

Jo was...confused, to say the least. The big brooding scary guy who nearly half an hour ago told her to shut up or he'd kill her was currently baring his soul to her. He kept talking, telling her about a relationship with a man whose life was in Jo's rather nervous hands.

She was almost done. It was a messy fix. And not something Jo would ever do in a hospital setting. Sloppy work really. Her cuts were jagged, hesitant and shallow. Her sutures were uneven. In a normal setting Jo would have gone about this completely differently. But she made do. And the last time she checked for pulse and pupillary response both seemed optimistic.

But what got to her was Charles. A man she was determined to hate. And yet couldn't help but feel for him. To love someone with your whole being and then to watch them potentially bleed out on a table.

That was a fate Jo wouldn't wish on anyone.

She tried to keep from asking questions and bit her tongue but she couldn't keep her curiosity at bay though so she opened her mouth, "Your brother. Did ever you tell him?"

Jo's eyes were on her sutures and yet she could almost see the hesitation on Charles's face. "Nevermind too much. Sorry"

Charles's face softened slightly before shaking his head, "No it's okay. No I never told him. My brother's been going through a lot. Me coming out to him? That would never end well-for anyone. So I kept it inside. Made Jack my dirty little secret. I'm not proud of it. And now, I guess I'm being punished for it. "

"Well...not quite. I think I got it. Pulse is slow but there and his preliminary neural responses check out. Barring any extraneous complications which given the circumstances…" Jo saw Charles' eyes widen as he stood up, "He's going to be fine" she affirmed for him.

Jo stepped back to watch as her brooding captor seemingly all of a sudden became a completely different person. She watched him whisper apologizes and 'I love you's'.

"I'll umm just go uh scrub out then" Charles nodded yes, his eyes not moving from the Jack's face.

Jo thought about Charles, a man who she thought could be nothing more than cold hearted murderer, melt away. All she saw was someone who was terribly in love with someone else.

And it all made her miss Alex.

She stared at the ring strung onto her necklace. The diamonds reflecting the light of the bathroom giving it a near glowing appearance. Jo didn't have much to lose. Except Alex. If she died today, her only regret would be losing Alex. And the life they would never get to have.

Jo sucked hard, willing her eyes to stop tearing before turning the corner to get back into the conference room.

"Well hello again _mon amour"_


	10. Chapter 10

**_So because I'm dropping 2 chapters at once I don't know how the notifications will work so if this is the first chapter you're seeing go back one, so you get some context for the story. Anyways enjoy! This one is a doozy._**

* * *

Special Agent Scott Daniels was _supposed_ to be riding the adrenaline rush of his _life_. He'd been part of the FBI for only three months and today was his first real mission. And for a rising FBI agent what better first field mission than an active terrorist situation?

 _Apparently anything else._

So far today all Agent Daniels had done was question a freaked out doctor and watch as his fellow colleagues yelled at each other.

He knew he should've taken the job at the New York office.

"We go in through the left wing with a small group of agents-"

"No that's stupid they have the building secured from the inside, our agents would be walking into certain death"

"And we're yelling again. Joy" Scott whispered under his breath. His senior officers had been arguing on the best course of action for hours.

"So then the only option is to instruct to kill on sight. We go in and shoot first ask questions later, hostages are out. We can risk it"

Scott's eyebrows furrowed at his senior officer words. And then even more at the other senior officer's lack of opposition but instead look of agreement. "What no!"

"Agent Daniels? Were you saying something?"

"You can't just blindly shoot! That doctor! She's still in there, we would be risking her life!"

"We have no other choice Daniels, I can't risk agents for one civilian."

"That's bullshit! That "one civilian" has a name, Josephine Wilson, and she's a hero. She just risked her entire life to save everyone else. And we can't even save her's?"

"It's not a perfect decision Agent, but it's the only one we have. I'm sorry you can either get in board or sit this one out Daniels"

* * *

Jo _really_ hated this guy.

She actually felt for the guy after hearing Charles' story, but having his a gun pointed at her head again for the second time that day, really made all sense of sympathy wash away.

"You know it a shame I'm going to have to kill you. You are awfully pretty."

Jo was about to snap back but Charles beat her to it, "Just stop James, you got what you wanted. Lots of dead doctors. You win. Just end this. Let her go, the FBI has this place surrounded. We're going to jail. You gain nothing from killing her."

James tilted his head, his crazed eyes not wavering from Jo's defiant ones. His completely steady hand still wrapped around the gun pointed at their forehead. "You're right. We are going to jail. But I won't sit in cell knowing that this girl is living out the rest of her life."

"You're only mad because she reminds you of Jules"

This time James turned to face his brother, "You don't know what you're talking about".

"You know it's true. She stood up to. Matched you toe to toe. She got to you, got under your skin. And the _only_ other person to _ever_ do that was-"

"ENOUGH!" his face was red. His eyes bloodshot. And for the first time, when James turned back towards her, Jo saw something other than sheer anger in James' eyes. She saw a mourning brother who never really recovered from his sister's death.

The thought distracted her.

It distracted her so much she didn't realize what was happening until she heard a gunshot and felt herself fall to the ground.

* * *

Alex hated planes. Having friends who died because one will probably do that you.

He hated everything about planes, the shaking, the smell, the perpetual coldness, snoring neighbors. Or in today's case, crying babies.

Originally Alex had just planned on just leaving the struggling mom alone but after watching the mom try and fail to console the crying baby for the last fifteen minutes, Alex was at wits end.

He turned towards the aisle, reaching over to tap the exhausted woman's shoulder, "Can I try?"

"Excuse me?" The woman pulled her baby closer towards her.

Alex rephrased, "Sorry umm I'm a pediatrician I think I know why you baby is crying-can I see?"

"Oh! Oh god please!"

Alex smirked at the relief in the mother's voice as she handed her daughter off to him.

He rocked her slightly, a trick he'd picked up from a NICU nurse in his fourth year, to get the baby to settle down.

Alex watched the little girl's face contort, discomfort clearly written on her face, he looked back up at her mother, "Do you have a bottle?"

"Umm yes...let me just…" she rummaged through her bags, before pulling one out and offering it to him, "but I just fed her before we got on?"

"Normally that would be fine, but you daughter has acute altitude sickness its basically just air sickness, nothing terrible and completely normal but because of it she's dehydrated and irritated-which is where we get all the crying from" and sure enough the baby's crying began to stop as Alex offered her the bottle.

"That's amazing. And you figured that out from a cry? Can I get your name, I'll bring her to you from now on"

Alex smiled, handing the little girl back to her mother, "Alex Karev, I'm honored but I'm a pediatric surgeon so for your daughter's sake I hope you never have to bring her to see me"

"Oh." She looked down at her now sleeping daughter, "Since your not my daughter's doctor, you're not by any chance single are you?"

Alex's eyes widened, "Uhhh I'm sorry...I'm engaged…"

"Annnnddd this is officially awkward" she started laughing. "Hot successful baby surgeons are never single."

Alex looked away, feeling slightly uncomfortable, which the other woman picked up on, "I'm sorry! I'm making you uncomfortable now…"

"No umm it's okay." Alex looked away at his phone willing this conversation to end.

Of course Alex was never that lucky,

"Did you hear about the crazy hostage situation with all the doctors? Tragic isn't it?"

Alex looked back down, "Yeah...I uhh I heard about it"

"It's so terrible, but I'm glad the hostages were able to get out. Makes it a little better, right?"

Alex's head shot up, "Wait what?"

The women was slightly taken aback by Alex's sudden interest, "They released like all the hostages, I don't know why though. Maybe…"

But Alex had stopped listening a sense of relief flooded over him, _Jo was safe. She was out of the building. They probably couldn't call him because he was in a plane. But it was all okay. Jo was safe._

* * *

Jo felt a throbbing in her side. She looked up to see Charles on the ground in front of her, and the gun in James' shaking hand.

Even from Jo's position on the floor she could tell Charles was already dead. The bullet had left a fatal wound in his chest.

 _A bullet intended for her._

Jo slowly began to realize what had just happened. Charles pushed her out of the way of his brother's bullet taking the fatal shot for himself.

And as she looked up at James, she knew he had realized it too.

The gun fell out of his hand, the sound of it falling echoed in the room."

James' red eyes met Jo's "FIX HIM!" His voice was hoarse but loud.

Jo looked down "I can't."

" _ **I SAID FIX HIM**_ "

"He's dead. I _can't._ I'm sorry." Jo slowly pulled herself of the ground her hands shaking. She watched as James fell to floor next to where his brother's dead body was lying. She watched as sobs shook through his body.

A man who Jo recognized as the guy who lead her to the lobby that morning walked in room, "Sir, the FBI is in the building. They're shooting on sight. Hawks was shot down and Lewis escaped with the hostages-never came back. It's just us sir, it's over."

James looked up at Jo, his eyes wild and red-he'd lost everything today and the anger shone clear in his eyes. He reached for his gun, and unlike before he unceremoniously pointed it between Jo's eyes.

"This is your fault" his voice was low and menacing but calm. "You killed him… I'm going to kill you"

But as Jo looked at James's eyes she saw a look she hadn't seen in the man all day, he was broken. Lost. His hands were shaking, tears rushing down his face.

Jo put reached her hand out and calmly spoke "You don't want to kill me. You're hurting and angry but not at me."

" _ **NO! I HATE YOU I WANT YOU DEAD!**_ _"_

"No you don't, you're hurting over Charles. Probably Jules too. You feel alone. And you're mad at yourself. You're hurting. But it's not your fault."

James shook his head aggressively. Tears running down his face.

"It's not. You did the best you could for your siblings. And Charles's death isn't on you. None of this is on you, it's not. It's all going to fine." Jo pulled her most soothing voice, the one she used when she was talking to children in the peds ward.

James had calmed slightly, looking just mostly catatonic.

Jo reached her hand out again, "Just hand me the gun and it'll all be okay," she coaxed.

James almost as if in a trance lowered the gun, but instead of handing he pointed it to his own head.

" _ **WAIT**_!"

Even before Jo could get close enough James pulled the trigger. Two gunshots echoed through the room.

 _Two._

A burning sensation took over Jo's body as she turned around to see a shocked officer yelling some words that she could not decipher before darkness flooded her senses and she fell to the ground.

 _Jo Wilson was a doctor, she knew death, she had imagined dying before, she'd just never imagine it would end up being_ like _this._

* * *

 ** _What's this? An actual update? I know I'm just as shocked. But I got my Jolex muse back...I'm not going to promise anything for a next update but I promise it won't take as long as this one. Anyway I hoped you liked it! And thanks to everyone who left reviews-they mean a lot!_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Whatttttt?!_**

 ** _I know I thought this story was over too!_**

 ** _In all seriousness I had lost my Jolex muse. It really felt like the show was giving up on them but season 14 really just at least for me resold Jolex and then I felt compelled to finally return to this story that and the guest reviewer who reviewed a few days ago still showing interest in the story really made me think why not? Let's give it a shot. And then as I opened my half started draft I remembered why I abandoned the story in the first place. I literally could not write this chapter and I know I've said this before but dear god this chapter just did not want be written. Nothing I wrote really felt genuine to me and I'm not sure this is that either but I wanted to get it out to you guys! As always forgive the mistakes and enjoy the chapter!_**

* * *

Pain.

She'd heard Alex say what it had felt like when he'd been shot. He had said it had felt like a terrible burning sensation.

On this side of it now, she thinks Alex played it down for her .The pain was unlike anything Jo had ever experienced before-it felt like her abdomen was on fire. The pain was throbbing and only getting worse.

She blinked a few times, the lights in the room seemed suddenly brighter, her vision was hazy at best but she could hear the commotion around her. There was a lot of running, some yelling.

Suddenly she felt someone's arms on her before they called out, "She's got a pulse! Weak. But it's there." The person's hands moved to her open wound trying to contain the bleeding.

 _So she was alive. That was nice._

She could hear more shuffling and then someone calling for immediate medical attention.

Okay so maybe she could survive this-tons of people survive gunshot wounds every day. _She could do this._

Suddenly the pain began to dull and her vision darkened, the voices she could hear suddenly seemed to miles away and then gone. She fought to keep her eyes open but they closed as well.

"She's losing consciousness-hurry up!"

 _Or maybe not._

* * *

"Welcome to San Francisco! We hope you enjoy your stay!"

Alex pulled his bags out the plane while simultaneously fumbling to switch on his phone. His eyebrows rising at the amount of missed calls on his phone.

22 from Warren, 2 from Mer, 5 from Arizona, 1 from Torres, 1 from Bailey and 3 from a number he didn't recognize. Before he could scroll through any of his messages his phone buzzed again,

"Karev."

The voice on the other end was rushed and a bit frantic, "Oh thank God I'm guessing you landed, man listen you need to San Francisco General, I can't explain over the phone, I don't really know how-just get there quickly. Steph and I are here, they took her up for surgery. They didn't say much, just try to hurry up…"

"Warren, slow down. What's going on? Where's Jo?" Alex's grip on his phone tightened, anxiety in his voice.

"She was in the building, I don't know a lot, Jo did some crazy things but they were able to get her out but she was hurt-"

"Ben. What happened to Jo?" Alex's voice was dangerously low.

"She was shot, Alex, it's-it's bad"

* * *

The tunnels were colder than Meredith remembered from her residency. She pulled her lab coat closer to her chest while trying to get comfortable on the abandoned mattresses.

She, Callie, Arizona, and Maggie had come down to tunnels after their shifts had ended, no one really feeling like going home. Amelia had picked up the kids and taken them to her and Owen's. The women were exhausted from the weight of the day.

"I feel like we should be doing something for Wilson. I don't know what, but it feels wrong to just be sitting here." Maggie asked finally breaking the silence.

Meredith retried Alex's phone "We're doing what we can. At the moment this is all we can do. It's not enough but nothing ever feels like it is… Dammit Alex pick up- he's got to be off his plane by now right?"

"Delay?" Arizona offered weakly, "Do you think he knows yet? About Wilson?" News of Jo's grand act of heroism had spread quickly amongst GSM after people started to get in contact with loved ones.

"If he didn't I'm sure he found out as soon as he landed." Callie paused, "I'm trying not to mad at Jo. I know she did what she thought was best, but it was so stupid. She had no idea any of her plan was gonna work- she blindly just walked into certain danger."

Arizona stared at her wife, "I don't think there's anything stupid about Wilson's choice. She made a choice that saved so many lives. All I see in that is bravery. Wilson's a hero."

"A hero but at what cost?"

No one really had an answer, Maggie's words lingered in the air.

"Do you think this place was built on a hellmouth? Or an old Egyptian burial ground, or like on the old ruins of a Native American tribe and the land is cursing the people who kicked them out?" Callie's voice broke through the thick silence.

Meredith groaned, "What are you talking about now?"

"Why do terrible things keep happening here? Seriously, unless there's a like well of oil here for all of us to profit off of in the morgue or something the law of averages is way out of balance here."

Arizona cracked a small smile, "We should start seeing if the UAPD considers gunmen and plane crashes an occupational hazard yet."

Meredith laughed, "I think we should update our welcome packages 'A job at GSM includes a great retirement package, lots of days off, and an increased risk of death.'"

Maggie's eyes widened with bewilderment at the the other three women laughing, "Why are you guys laughing!? That's awful!" The other three only laughed harder at that.

The sudden sound of their pagers going off interrupted all the laughter all the women trying to find their pager-Meredith reached for her's first before looking up in confusion, "Bailey's office?"

* * *

When Alex stumbled into the waiting room, his hair was disheveled from the travelling, his eyes were hollow, his clothes slightly wrinkled, In the last few hours it seemed Alex had aged years. His bag rolled behind him as he glanced around trying to find anyone with information.

"Karev!"

Alex turned around towards the voice, "Edwards? How's Jo? They tell you anything? Where is she? What happened?" Desperation and exhaustion dripping from his voice.

Stephanie tried to keep her voice level,breathing in deeply, "She was shot, bullet to the abdomen, she lost a lot of blood, they had to be revived here after they lost a pulse in route. They took her down for surgery a bit ago but they won't tell us anything more. I think they wanted to wait for you."

Alex ran his hand through his hair trying to make sense of Stephanie's words. His heart beating seemingly out of rhythm. Jo was shot? She had to be revived? Surgery? He turned away from Stephanie trying to keep his composure- fatigue and concern clawing at his resolve.

But something didn't make sense, he turned back towards Stephanie, "Last I'd heard they got everyone out a while ago? How did she just get into surgery? Why wasn't she out before? What the hell happened?"

Steph bit her lip her voice shakier than before, "S-she was still inside when the rest of them got out. I don't know all the details but they were saying that Jo got everybody out of the hotel. She bargained with the shooters, she offered to save one of their guys in exchange for everyone else's release. Apparently she did it too. I-I don't know what she was thinking but-"

Steph continued to ramble on but Alex had stopped listening. His head was spinning, he leaned over to chair needing to sit down.

 _Jo had offered her life for everyone else's._

She could die today and it would because of her own stupid heroism. Alex knew Jo will have saved hundreds of people today, but right now not knowing if she'd coded on the table or if she'd bled out already, Alex selfishly wished that Jo had just walked away and kept her mouth shut. Because if she had maybe she'd be fine. Right next to him healthy and breathing.

Alex punched the chair handle next to him, frustration bubbling out from inside him. "Dammit!"

Stephanie walked over to where Alex was sitting, awkwardly placing her hand on his shoulder before pulling it back quickly, "I'm um sorry. Uhh I'm gonna go see if they'll give you any more information"

Alex didn't acknowledge Stephanie, his mind still making sense of everything that had happened.

He knew when she was younger Jo would navigate her life pretty carelessly. Not that Jo wasn't careful but she didn't value her life as much.

She was the strongest person he knew and had survived more than he could imagine but in all her stories there was always a darker underlying feeling of not caring for her own existence, she never seemed to value her own life. But he'd assumed or rather hoped that maybe now Jo felt like her life was worth living, like she had something to keep fighting for, with her career and success and even potentially their life together, he'd hoped that it had been enough for Jo to think more of her own life. But clearly not...

Alex's thoughts were interrupted by a sudden voice behind him, "Are you here for Josephine Wilson?"

Quickly turning around to meet the voice, Alex saw someone he assumed was a resident, judging by her age and the sleeplessness in her eyes, her hair was still in a green scrub cap indicating she'd just gotten out of surgery. Unable to vocalize anything he just nodded.

"You're the fiancé right? We have an update."

* * *

 ** _So like I said not my favorite of my writing but I really wanted to get this out there for you guys. At least the 2 of you still potentially reading. I'm really going to try to finish this story before next season but we shall see. I'm also thinking about finishing and relaxing a lot of my incomplete work in progresses for Jolex fanfiction. Let me know if that's something you all would be interested in!_**

 ** _See you guys later! We're nearly at my favorite chapter of this story from when I was planning out the story. It was actually the reason why I wrote the entire story-I planned an entire story around one scene in my head...I know I know...any way we're almost there. And hopefully I won't make you guys wait another whole year for this._**


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